This is San Diego drivers when it rains: "What is this evil magic that dost fall from the sky? It has wetted the ground below -- D'AH! Where am I? What kind of machination have I found myself in? Why, it is a cart pulled by an invisible horse!"
And this is my response: "It is RAIN people!"
Geez louise, they drive like there is three inches of snow covering the ground. This isn't snow. It's not ice. It's not even a bleeding thunderstorm! And in SD (during the day) give it ten minutes and you'll hardly be able to tell it was actually pouring for all of (and this next bit is not hyperbole) two itty bitty minutes.
One day I left the office to make a deposit at the bank -- took ten extra minutes to get there. Left the bank to head home -- took me twenty extra minutes to get to the freeway. Honestly. It is just rain! The one bright side to that whole driving fiasco, I did see my big, bold, beautiful rainbow with its left foot stretching to the ground.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Endeavor, Fugue (S1E2)
There is a beautiful scene from this episode of Endeavor. I wish I'd written it. And I wish I could find the clip because the line is so masterfully delivered by "DI Thursday."
DC Endeavour Morse: How do you do it? Leave it at the front door?
DI Fred Thursday: 'Cause I have to. Case like this will tear a heart right out of a man. Find something worth defending.
DC Endeavour Morse: I thought I had! Found something.
DI Fred Thursday: Music? I suppose music is as good as anything. Go home. Put your best record on. Loud as it'll play. And with every note, you remember: that's something that the darkness couldn't take from you.
(copied from imdb.com)
DC Endeavour Morse: How do you do it? Leave it at the front door?
DI Fred Thursday: 'Cause I have to. Case like this will tear a heart right out of a man. Find something worth defending.
DC Endeavour Morse: I thought I had! Found something.
DI Fred Thursday: Music? I suppose music is as good as anything. Go home. Put your best record on. Loud as it'll play. And with every note, you remember: that's something that the darkness couldn't take from you.
(copied from imdb.com)
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Faith. Trust. How?
For once I'm not questioning "Why" but
"How." That's new. For me. It's always been "Why?" Why, why
why? But now it's How?
How? That was our question at Thursday night Bible meeting.
How does God fill us? How do we know without a shadow of a doubt that God finds
us the most beautiful, the most special thing in the world. How do we find our
confidence and self-worth through him? How?
I'm an introvert and natural internal processor. It's
natural for me to work through things internally, so allow me a moment to
process (or think) "out loud" here. Maybe we're focused too much on
the How. The How (that word is starting to look funnier and funnier the more I
read it) isn't the point. The point is faith - believing that "It" is
and eventually we will not only know it with our minds but with our hearts as
well. Eventually, with a little faith, we won't need to feel God's love and
acceptance and adoring eye to know that it's there.
There is a song by J.J. Heller (thank you, God, for J.J.
Heller!) called "When You Come Back for Me." The lyrics are:
I don't know how to follow you without losing my way
Jesus, come and take me by the handAnd I don't know how to trust that you will do the things you say
Spirit, teach me how to understand
That your love can heal the wreckage of my soul
The beauty of your light shining in me
I don't know when you'll take me home to paradise with you
The day when I will finally be free
Oh the day when you come back for me.
When I'm lost in the How, and I don't know what to pray,
what to say to my Father, I pray this song. The lyrics are so honest and
dead-on target. It's a wonderful place to start.
Moving on there's an old (or older) hymn that says,
"Let's forget about ourselves and magnify his name and worship him."
Perhaps we should forget about how we don't get it (the disciples didn't get it
either, more on that in a moment), forget how we don't understand and instead
say, "Father, I'm just going to praise you. I don't get it, but I'm going
to praise you anyway." Perhaps we should be focusing on Who God is instead
of How he is.
As I just mentioned, the disciples/apostles - Jesus' closest
circle - didn't tend to get it either. In Matthew 14:13-20, Jesus is out in a
remote area preaching. He has compassion on the crowds and wants to feed them.
He asks the disciples what's available, and they respond five loaves of bread
and two fish, but that certainly isn't enough to feed a crowd of 5,000. Then
Jesus performs a miracle - he breaks the bread and gives thanks, and as the
disciples pass the food around to the crowd, the tiny meal expands to fill up
all 5,000 and create enough leftovers for a small army. Now let's go to one
chapter later in Matthew 15:29-37. Again Jesus is speaking to a crowd (of 4,000
this time) in a remote area and wants to feed them; the disciples respond:
"Where can we get enough bread in such a remote place to feed such a
crowd" (v33 NIV)? Amazing to me that the Bible doesn't then say
"Jesus rolled his eyes" or "Jesus let out a great sigh."
The Bible says Jesus performed the same miracle. The wording of the two
passages is even similar. So, the disciples didn't get it, and they were right
there with Jesus! The point wasn't how Jesus performed a miracle - twice - but
that he did perform it; the point isn't how is Jesus so divine but that he is
divine.
God (Father, Son - Jesus, Holy Spirit) is Divine. First we
must learn who God is by reading his Word (the Bible), asking him to reveal
himself to us and discussing with other followers who God is. Then we must try
to emulate (be like) him. The How won't matter then. We may never know the How.
Something else important to remember: we will fail. How absolutely terrifying.
But not to worry, we'll still belong to God as his treasure.
In Matthew 16:13-20, Peter names Jesus for who he is - the Christ or the
Messiah, the living Son of God - and Jesus tells Peter that he will be the rock
(Peter means "rock") on which Christ Jesus will build his church and
the gates of Hades/Hell will not overcome it. Heck yeah, I'll take that job.
Awesome. But keep going in chapter 16. Jesus explains to his disciples that
very soon he will suffer and die, and Peter (the rock on which Jesus will build
his church) rebukes the Living Son of God saying this will never happen to him.
How does Jesus respond in verse 23? He says to Peter (the rock on which Jesus
will build his church and the gates of Hades will not overcome it): "Get
behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the
concerns of God, but merely human concerns." Ummm....
Another line from J.J. Heller: "Faith means holding
onto You / Grace means You're holding me too" ("Painted Red").
Thinking out loud, I'm thinking the How isn't as important as Who. Once we
start focusing on the Who and begin to participate in his nature knowing God is
I AM, eventually our hearts will know this truth as well. And then we'll fail
again and again, but that's why there's grace.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
In Magnolia Park...
In Magnolia Park there lived Nina and Rita, Mavis and Debbie Wakefield; next to them were the Sappingtons and across the way the Pratts.
Mai
She is a Huon. The first Huon actually; as a Huon she is time and space and matter. Each Huon created something and though their energy, which can be used to heal or destroy, may be drained, the only way a Huon can die is to sacrifice itself so another may live. She can see all timelines except her own.
She created the "weeping angels." When she heard what happened to Amy and Rory, she created the leaf that led to Clara Oswin Oswald -- someone for the Doctor to find again (and again) because no one, not even the Doctor, needs ever be alone.
Except her. She is the last Huon. Huons name things -- they know the names of every living being, but they also know the sacredness of a name and do not use this power lightly. During her time with the 12th Doctor they come across a being whom she can't name. She calls him a shadow; he (the being) just appears in the TARDIS and says, "The last thing I remember is the beach. There was a bright light and then I was here." Her and this shadow fall in love before he disappears.
It is the 12th Doctor who discovers that she created the leaf that led to Clara. Eventually the Doctor allows Clara to die; the huon is heartbroken over letting her "child" go. (She is also the woman in the woman in the shop who gave Clara the 11th Doctor's number as the customer service # for the WiFi.) The 13th Doctor gets into trouble, but has run out of regeneration energy, so she convinces him to use her because, unlike a human (e.g. Donna Noble), she can handle the Doctor's knowledge.
They (in her body) land in the parallel universe (she's Time and Space and Matter, so therefore can) where Rose Tyler and Doctor clone are. The huon discovers her parallel universe self is the young daughter of Rose and DC. The huon's name, Mai, is short for Flowdabmai -- "I am Bad Wolf" backwards; she created herself. Young parallel Flowdabmai, who goes by Flo, creates an angel too, but 1) Mai can't name it, and 2) instead of sending people into the past, it sends people into parallel realities.
Mai tries to sacrifice herself to save the Doctor (after having to rescue him from a parallel reality where Flo's angel sent him - long story), but he turns the tables on her. She disperses what's left of the Doctor's soul giving the final piece to the TARDIS and naming him before sending the TARDIS off. Mai is left on the beach with Rose and DC when they hear the TARDIS return. Mai hears the two hearts. The TARDIS has recreated the Doctor. Mai turns and stops. "It's you," she says. "Of course, 'I was on a beach. There was a bright light and then I was here.'" This Doctor was the shadow she had fallen in love with -- and he's ginger!
Mai and the Doctor adventure through all of time and space....The End.
************************************
Mai appears on the TARDIS. "I'm Flowdabmai. Just call me Mai."
************************************
"Falling in love, being in love, is different than loving someone." - Mai
************************************
Mai gets trapped on a pocket universe - courtesy of the Doctor - where life is "ordinary". She finds herself married to one Doctor (John Smith), she's pregnant (with Clara), she's sister to Rose and 10th Doctor, etc, and Shadow is reading Puck's soliquy on the radio ("If we shadows have offended..."). All the Doctors have beards and all have some version of the name John - Ian, Sean, etc., the 9th Doctor is not there. Mai begins to forget who she is, but before she is completely lost, there is a knock at the door. She opens the door and there stands the 9th Doctor, sans beard, saying he received a message from Mai. Mai remembers who she is, goes with the 9th Doctor, and erases the rescue and the meeting from his memory.
************************************
I'd love to see an episode where the Doctor discovers it's teddy bears saving the children (maybe from the angels - teddy bears don't blink)
***********************************
Somehow the Doctor needs to fly the TARDIS to certain points (from point to point) to get out of trouble but needs a homing device to act as something akin to a lighthouse to jump from point to point. Doctor (to Mai): "Where are you going?" Mai: "Oh, out." Doctor: "Out? Now?" Mai: "I'll be your beacon."
***********************************
Jack Harkness (to Mai): "There's something so...familiar about you. Like - looking in a mirror." Later when Mai meets young Flo, she remembers Jack's words. Mai: "'There's something so familiar about you. Like looking in a mirror.' Doctor, spell my name." He rambles on about whatever from the mirror Mai put him in because she was tired of having him in her head. "Spell it!" Mai writes it (flowdabmai) on the mirror so it reflects the other way (iambadwolf).
***********************************
Mai: Who in the universe would name their child "I am Bad Wolf" backwords?; Rose: Well, why'd you name yourself that?; M: I didn't name myself.; R: Then who did?; M: Something More (smiles).
***********************************
By the way, I nominate this guy as the next Doctor:
She created the "weeping angels." When she heard what happened to Amy and Rory, she created the leaf that led to Clara Oswin Oswald -- someone for the Doctor to find again (and again) because no one, not even the Doctor, needs ever be alone.
Except her. She is the last Huon. Huons name things -- they know the names of every living being, but they also know the sacredness of a name and do not use this power lightly. During her time with the 12th Doctor they come across a being whom she can't name. She calls him a shadow; he (the being) just appears in the TARDIS and says, "The last thing I remember is the beach. There was a bright light and then I was here." Her and this shadow fall in love before he disappears.
It is the 12th Doctor who discovers that she created the leaf that led to Clara. Eventually the Doctor allows Clara to die; the huon is heartbroken over letting her "child" go. (She is also the woman in the woman in the shop who gave Clara the 11th Doctor's number as the customer service # for the WiFi.) The 13th Doctor gets into trouble, but has run out of regeneration energy, so she convinces him to use her because, unlike a human (e.g. Donna Noble), she can handle the Doctor's knowledge.
They (in her body) land in the parallel universe (she's Time and Space and Matter, so therefore can) where Rose Tyler and Doctor clone are. The huon discovers her parallel universe self is the young daughter of Rose and DC. The huon's name, Mai, is short for Flowdabmai -- "I am Bad Wolf" backwards; she created herself. Young parallel Flowdabmai, who goes by Flo, creates an angel too, but 1) Mai can't name it, and 2) instead of sending people into the past, it sends people into parallel realities.
Mai tries to sacrifice herself to save the Doctor (after having to rescue him from a parallel reality where Flo's angel sent him - long story), but he turns the tables on her. She disperses what's left of the Doctor's soul giving the final piece to the TARDIS and naming him before sending the TARDIS off. Mai is left on the beach with Rose and DC when they hear the TARDIS return. Mai hears the two hearts. The TARDIS has recreated the Doctor. Mai turns and stops. "It's you," she says. "Of course, 'I was on a beach. There was a bright light and then I was here.'" This Doctor was the shadow she had fallen in love with -- and he's ginger!
Mai and the Doctor adventure through all of time and space....The End.
************************************
Mai appears on the TARDIS. "I'm Flowdabmai. Just call me Mai."
************************************
"Falling in love, being in love, is different than loving someone." - Mai
************************************
Mai gets trapped on a pocket universe - courtesy of the Doctor - where life is "ordinary". She finds herself married to one Doctor (John Smith), she's pregnant (with Clara), she's sister to Rose and 10th Doctor, etc, and Shadow is reading Puck's soliquy on the radio ("If we shadows have offended..."). All the Doctors have beards and all have some version of the name John - Ian, Sean, etc., the 9th Doctor is not there. Mai begins to forget who she is, but before she is completely lost, there is a knock at the door. She opens the door and there stands the 9th Doctor, sans beard, saying he received a message from Mai. Mai remembers who she is, goes with the 9th Doctor, and erases the rescue and the meeting from his memory.
************************************
I'd love to see an episode where the Doctor discovers it's teddy bears saving the children (maybe from the angels - teddy bears don't blink)
***********************************
Somehow the Doctor needs to fly the TARDIS to certain points (from point to point) to get out of trouble but needs a homing device to act as something akin to a lighthouse to jump from point to point. Doctor (to Mai): "Where are you going?" Mai: "Oh, out." Doctor: "Out? Now?" Mai: "I'll be your beacon."
***********************************
Jack Harkness (to Mai): "There's something so...familiar about you. Like - looking in a mirror." Later when Mai meets young Flo, she remembers Jack's words. Mai: "'There's something so familiar about you. Like looking in a mirror.' Doctor, spell my name." He rambles on about whatever from the mirror Mai put him in because she was tired of having him in her head. "Spell it!" Mai writes it (flowdabmai) on the mirror so it reflects the other way (iambadwolf).
***********************************
Mai: Who in the universe would name their child "I am Bad Wolf" backwords?; Rose: Well, why'd you name yourself that?; M: I didn't name myself.; R: Then who did?; M: Something More (smiles).
***********************************
By the way, I nominate this guy as the next Doctor:
 |
| http://image.wally.tv/resources/thumbnail/4090450eff9417c0ee.jpg |
 |
| http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4052/5146761928_558ede8f82.jpg |
Sans beard.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Notes
I'd fallen asleep last night. Then I was gently awakened - it must have been my TV automatically turning off itself. The room was black. And I had this very strong feeling, so strong, that if I went back to sleep, I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I tried reading my book to get out of my head, but the feeling was too strong, so I grabbed Rumples and held him close and went back to sleep. When I woke up this morning, I thanked God for another day. The strange feeling of....I don't know, doom?....hasn't exactly left; its stench still lingers. Maybe it's too much ER.
On another note, I've been having a hard time lately with a few things. Namely: I'm not getting married, I miss my dog, and I want to move back to VA. I read the following verse in today's Proverbs31 devotional: "The LORD will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me." Psalm 138:8 (NLT). There were a few words in particular I noticed by putting emphasis on different phrases, like so: The LORD -- will work out -- his -- plans for my life -- for -- your faithful love -- O LORD, endures forever. I'll leave you to your own pondering on that one.
Pond-ering.
On another note, I've been having a hard time lately with a few things. Namely: I'm not getting married, I miss my dog, and I want to move back to VA. I read the following verse in today's Proverbs31 devotional: "The LORD will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me." Psalm 138:8 (NLT). There were a few words in particular I noticed by putting emphasis on different phrases, like so: The LORD -- will work out -- his -- plans for my life -- for -- your faithful love -- O LORD, endures forever. I'll leave you to your own pondering on that one.
Pond-ering.
Friday, May 10, 2013
On Anxiety
Anxiety is driven by fear. And once we become anxious, we turn into control-freaks. We try to control the situation or the other person, or if we can't do that, we try to control other people outside the situation. (I just read a book about this by Karen Ehman called Let.It.Go., and it was spot-on for me.)
The Bible says 'perfect love drives out fear' (1John 4:18). So the answer is to love and live in Christ. We cast our cares upon God. We choose to trust, not to dictate the lives of those around us. We remember 'It's not about me,' it's about God and his glory. Isaiah 43:7 and Romans 11:36 state that we are made for God's glory - ultimately, that is our purpose. So our fear/anxiety is only a tiny part of the picture; we have to look outside ourselves: 'It's not about me.'
But sometimes the anxiety is overwhelming, so overwhelming that I can't think straight, my mind becomes cloudy, and all I can get out is 'It's not about me.' There are times I'm lucky to get that far. I often cannot get to the 'it's about God's glory' part, so all I can say is 'It's not about me' or 'Blessed be the name of the Lord' or 'Bless the Lord, o my soul' (Philippians 4:6 - 'with thanksgiving').
The latter of those three phrases are song lyrics. Music is oftentimes my lifeline (other times it's a Bible verse or a quote that holds Biblical truth). The song isn't always a Christian song; sometimes it's a song in which I find truth - Biblical truth. 'God gives us hope/But we still fear/What we don't know/The mind is poison.' That's from a song by The Killers. Another Killers lyric that often plays in my head is 'There are twisted days that I take comfort/Cause I'm not the only one/No I'm not the only one.' (I'm part of a women's Bible study group; if this lyric weren't true, why would we enjoy each other's company so much each Thursday night?)
Hebrews 13:3 (NIV): 'Consider him [Jesus] who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.' The only problem with trying to find comfort in the fact that Jesus too faced much anxiety (I've never been so anxious I was sweating blood), is that Jesus is perfect; I could never be like him. But I take comfort in the fact that there is Sarah (or Sarai as she was known at the time in Genesis 16) and Gideon (Judges 6 & 7), Elijah (1 Kings 19:1-18) and the disciples (Matthew 8:23-27, 14:13-21, 15:32-37 and 16:5-10) who like me were overwhelmed or fearful or just stupid, yet God was with them, God used them and God loved them just the same. That is God's grace.
The Bible says 'perfect love drives out fear' (1John 4:18). So the answer is to love and live in Christ. We cast our cares upon God. We choose to trust, not to dictate the lives of those around us. We remember 'It's not about me,' it's about God and his glory. Isaiah 43:7 and Romans 11:36 state that we are made for God's glory - ultimately, that is our purpose. So our fear/anxiety is only a tiny part of the picture; we have to look outside ourselves: 'It's not about me.'
But sometimes the anxiety is overwhelming, so overwhelming that I can't think straight, my mind becomes cloudy, and all I can get out is 'It's not about me.' There are times I'm lucky to get that far. I often cannot get to the 'it's about God's glory' part, so all I can say is 'It's not about me' or 'Blessed be the name of the Lord' or 'Bless the Lord, o my soul' (Philippians 4:6 - 'with thanksgiving').
The latter of those three phrases are song lyrics. Music is oftentimes my lifeline (other times it's a Bible verse or a quote that holds Biblical truth). The song isn't always a Christian song; sometimes it's a song in which I find truth - Biblical truth. 'God gives us hope/But we still fear/What we don't know/The mind is poison.' That's from a song by The Killers. Another Killers lyric that often plays in my head is 'There are twisted days that I take comfort/Cause I'm not the only one/No I'm not the only one.' (I'm part of a women's Bible study group; if this lyric weren't true, why would we enjoy each other's company so much each Thursday night?)
Hebrews 13:3 (NIV): 'Consider him [Jesus] who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.' The only problem with trying to find comfort in the fact that Jesus too faced much anxiety (I've never been so anxious I was sweating blood), is that Jesus is perfect; I could never be like him. But I take comfort in the fact that there is Sarah (or Sarai as she was known at the time in Genesis 16) and Gideon (Judges 6 & 7), Elijah (1 Kings 19:1-18) and the disciples (Matthew 8:23-27, 14:13-21, 15:32-37 and 16:5-10) who like me were overwhelmed or fearful or just stupid, yet God was with them, God used them and God loved them just the same. That is God's grace.
'Bless the Lord, O my soul.'
'It's not about me.'
'Hungry I come to you for I know you satisfy.'
'I can't control this.'
'You're big; I'm little; my head only comes to your middle. With God's help little guys can do big things too.' (That's right, I sometimes bring Veggie Tales into battle.)
'Jesus, save me.' (Matthew 14:25-31)
I've fought fear and anxiety for half my life. I find myself having to repeat mantras (for lack of a better term) sometimes just to keep my head above water. 'It's not about me' and 'Shut up, Satan' have been big on the list lately. And remembering this:
'For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, "Do not fear, I will help you."' (Isaiah 41:13 NIV).
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