And with that memory I realized something I, frankly, have been too stupid to realize until this very moment (thirty-two, never too old, ever): All my life, most of it anyway, I've wanted to belong. To belong. To be a part of something special. A huge longing. Everyone longs for that, it's very human. I, until this moment, didn't think, didn't realize, just didn't get it, that I was (still am as it's a part of us and that won't ever change) part of something special. I was one of "Sue's girls."
I guess I shouldn't feel too bad for being so dense. Jesus' disciples witnessed him feeding 5,000 people from five loaves of bread and two fish (Matthew 14:13-21). Not long after (within the span of a year or two at least) Jesus wants to feed 4,000 people (Matthew 15:29-38), and his disciples panic and ask where they're to get enough food to feed all those people. [Cue crickets chirping.] They didn't get it. Not until Jesus died and came back to life -- which is a pretty big thing. I guess I shouldn't feel so bad it's taken me thirty-two years to get this.
There were five of us that made up "Sue's girls": Jennifer, Donna, me, Ashley and LeeAnn. Sue was our babysitter. It was her neighbors that gave us this moniker.
I have, in the past, considered writing about those times, but I don't have the memory for it. Most of the memories have faded. I'd achieved about four pages once. I'd written a poem, which I liked.
It doesn't matter though that I can't accurately write about what was a large part of my childhood; (I went there from the age of two and a half to about fourteen. I wasn't the first to come, but I was the last to leave. In the end I was only there to catch the County bus.) That time has marked our souls and shines, paints, sings into our lives, a part of who we are and what we bring into the world. There were other children there, of course, through the years, it just happened that...well, I don't really know how it happened; I shouldn't pretend I do.
I do know the memories are fun stories, but there's not really a way to describe the magic, and it is magic. A special magic. And I'm thankful to be one of "Sue's girls."
Me and Sue c. 1985