Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Procrastination is quite catching

Nana is the best procrastinator I know, which is not a good thing.  In one post, I mentioned how it took her three days before she went to pick up a prescription from the pharmacy.  My latest quandary is her bills.  It's not really the latest; this has been an issue for a while, but since her procrastination has become worse, the bill paying issue has festered.  They pile up and pile up.  She's old fashioned and likes to pay her bills in person, so some of the local bills (cable, insurance, water, etc), she wants to wait and go to the building and pay them.  This would be fine -- if it got done; if she didn't get "sidetracked" in doing so; if she didn't put it off for the next day or until she gets dressed for the day and then doesn't.

I suppose I could look at my "control freak" nature as something of a blessing in this situation, though I struggle with going too far (or maybe not far enough).  I don't want to rip Nana's independence from her, but when things like paying bills aren't getting done...where is the line?  I have no problem taking control of areas that need it, like her medication for instance, even though it can hamper my own independence at times.  (That's the real rub of wanting control, the paradox; being "Miss Independent" in my own life, often hampers my own independence.)  I don't mind writing the checks for her, which, lately is what has happened.  But it all is a struggle.  

As for Nana's procrastination, I wonder at its roots.  I wonder whether it is the dementia causing her to put things off and then she forgets or if maybe it is depression.  I'm inclined to link it to the dementia since the procrastination has become worse as her mind has become more diminished.  There are other "chores" that she puts off as well; I've heard stories of other people with dementia where things didn't get done, washing dishes for example.  Just another step on the road.

And darn it if it isn't catching!  Normally I pay a bill as soon as I receive it in the mail, but lately, they sit there for a few days...so bad.  Of course, Nana's primary care doctor (the one with whom I'm not very impressed) would probably call this normal -- according to his logic, we'll all have Alzheimer's by the time we're 80.

P.S.  I want to say that I don't write these posts regarding life currently for sympathy or to get encouragement from others, even though encouragement at any point in life is welcome.  I don't need sympathy or a shoulder to cry on; God is more than enough for that. Rather I write them 1) to get it out of my system, to get out of my own head and 2) in the hopes that someone else will read them and know that they're not alone and themselves gain some encouragement.

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