Friday, September 5, 2014

The Obsession and Confusion


     Fantastic.  Now Nana has an obsession with her pills again.
     Friday night -- six days ago -- I went out to dinner with her and David.  I mentioned to David that before Nana leaves, while she's on her trip, some of her medicines will run out, so we'll need new prescription orders.  Of course, Nana is sitting right there hearing this conversation.
     I get home from work yesterday to find she did take her AM medicines, however, on the chart "AM" was circled, and Nana had written "pills not out."  Ummm, what?  I thought perhaps she had taken her pills, forgot she had taken them and so thought I hadn't put them out.
     No, no.  Once again, she was talking about the big bottles.
     Last night from her one friend's house she called asking about [whatever the situation was in her mind that I could not follow] saying her pills weren't out.  She said she'd taken her morning ones.  She said she'd gone back to my room to look for her pills (she's referring to the big bottles, which I keep hidden in my room -- OMW).  When I told her I didn't know what she was talking about, she couldn't remember, but she knew there was a reason she was asking.  She became so mixed up with this one (obsessional) thought, she couldn't focus on my question of allowing me to check her bank account balance online.  She said we'd talk when she got home.
     Me:  "I'll be in bed when you get home."
     Nana:  "Well, you can wake me up in the morning."
     Me: (in my head) As I rush out of the house because, as always, I'm thisclose to running late, and you're half asleep because I just woke you up?  Sure thing, Nana.
     When I put her daily dose out this morning, there was a note: "Please put all my pill bottles out.  You said I'd run out of some.  I'll go refill them today."
     The reply:  "You have plenty of pills."
     I debated expanding on that but stuck with simplicity.
     It's been hard for her to relinquish control of her medicines.  Clearly.  I'd love, love, love to tell her the truth -- that she can't be in charge of them because she'd screw it up and no one would have any clue, and she may or may not die because of it.  But that truth is one of the things for which I must practice self-restraint.  And not telling the truth is HARD for me.


     This morning I find a note from Nana: "Please leave my checkbook out.  Thank you."
     Her checkbook is in her purse.  I take it out to write checks for her; I replace it when I'm done.
     So I pulled the checkbook out of her purse and sat it with the message and wrote a reply:  "Here ya go.  It was in your purse.  ?"

     I'm starting to get worried about her confusion.  Worried that it's getting worse.
     Dear Lord, what do I do about this?

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