Tuesday, December 11, 2012

When You Don't Know What to Say - Feb 16 2011

Sometimes we get to the point where we're beyond hurt feelings. It does hurt, but not in the same way. The hurt doesn't follow with, "That figures." Nor does it follow with disbelief. It follows with the understanding that the other person will never understand the fullness of his/her "beatings," so what's the point in feelling hurt?

My situation is I have an elephant's memory when it comes to some things and the other party does not. There's no point in feeling hurt. Can't discuss what the other party doesn't remember. What the other party doesn't see....and never will see.

Yes, I'm hurt and angry, but it doesn't feel fresh and new. It's not like pouring salt in an old wound or scraping off a scar and watching the wound bleed anew. I want to say it's more like there's been nerve damage, but that's not really it either.

Maybe I just have a fuller understanding of who the other party is now and am letting him/her be that. Even though it often ends in me once again being hurt and angry about something he/she'll never fully understand.

I'm just starting to repeat myself now. Perhaps I don't fully understand the situation either except that I'm beyond my feelings being hurt......................

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